When an Elderly Parent Refuses to Write a Will

As parents age and enter their golden years, their children understandably want to learn their wishes before they pass away. The best way for parents to specify what happens to their property and assets after death is to execute a will and other estate planning documents. But unfortunately, some parents refuse to plan for the future. A parent’s refusal to write a will can create a frustrating and emotionally charged situation for adult children.

While you can’t force your parents to write a will, you can explain why it’s a good idea and encourage them to consult with an experienced attorney. Here are some tips from the estate planning lawyers at Brown & Hobkirk, PLLC.

Why Your Elderly Parent Should Write a Will

It’s important for your elderly parents to establish an estate plan because:

• They can name someone to manage their estate after their death rather than letting the court appoint someone.
• They can identify the persons or organizations to which they want to leave their assets (or expressly exclude family members they don’t wish to leave an inheritance).
• Your family can have legal mechanisms to manage your parent’s affairs if they become disabled or incapacitated.
• You can minimize conflicts and frustrations when settling your parent’s affairs once they pass away.

How to Approach Your Parent About Making a Will

Making end-of-life plans can be uncomfortable for many people who don’t like thinking about growing old or dying. Here are a few tips to try when discussing a will with a hesitant parent:

Speak with an Estate Planning Lawyer

Always suggest your parent(s) speak with an estate planning lawyer. Talking to an experienced legal advisor can help your parent understand the benefits of having a will and the potential consequences of not having one. Talking with family members about estate planning can bring up powerful emotions, so you and your parent can benefit from having a neutral, third-party perspective.

Let Them Choose their Personal Representative (“Executor”)

Refrain from proposing yourself as the Personal Representative of your parent’s estate. Your parent should choose whoever they believe will best carry out their wishes for the disposition of their estate, even if that means choosing another sibling, a grandchild, or a professional advisor to serve as executor.

Be Truthful About Your Intentions

You can have a more productive conversation with your parent about estate planning if you clearly state why you recommend they write a will. You can explain that you want to avoid family disputes over the disposition of your parent’s assets, understand your parent’s intentions, or minimize the time and expense of settling your parent’s affairs after their death. Regardless of your goals, you should clearly state your motivations for encouraging your parent to establish an estate plan.

Remember That No One Can Be Forced to Write a Will

Finally, remember that you cannot force your parent to write a will or have an estate plan. No matter how irrational their reasons seem to you, the decision to prepare and execute a will rests with them.

Contact Our Skilled Estate Planning Lawyers

If your parents need advice about writing a will or have other estate planning needs, reach out to Brown & Hobkirk, PLLC today. Our experienced attorneys can explain the estate planning process so they can make an informed decision about their future plans. Call or contact us today for a free consultation.